Louisiana Bound by Donna Hankins

Author:Donna Hankins
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Donna Hankins
Published: 2019-07-03T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

JESSIE PULLED INTO a parking lot next to a Taco Bell, cut off the engine of the car, and turned to face me.

“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me why you're crying.” Jessie’s face was full of concern.

With tears streaming down my face, I confided in Jessie. “I have nothing real in my life. My entire world is just one big episode out of a soap opera.”

Jessie took the cap off his head and combed his dark shiny hair back with his fingers.

I wondered if that gesture was a sign of him not knowing what to say, or some kind of stalling tactic until he knew what to do next.

“Sarah, I’m not sure I understand.”

“You whispered in my ear yesterday that ‘Where there is love, there are miracles’.” I cocked my head to look in Jessie’s eyes. “I didn’t understand the true meaning of what you said until right now.” My heart raced so hard I was afraid it would burst out of my chest. The ache was so strong I could hardly talk. “I’ve struggled so hard to be somebody people would admire and want to emulate. My desire was to accumulate money, stature, a husband of high standing, and a church where only the elite went.” My heart exploded with a desire to get my past off my chest. My mouth ran away with me, and my burden lightened.

“But none of it was real. I just now realized, for the past several years, my life in New York has been a lie. I lead an artificial life with artificial people trying to fit into a mold I thought was right. Nothing was genuine. My life was nothing like what you have.” Jessie fumbled in the car door to hand me a rumpled used napkin with ketchup on it. My heart melted with such a genuine gesture. “My marriage, my so call friends, my church, my BMW, none of it was real. It was all about money. I’m not even sure I even know who God is. If God isn’t all about money, then who is he?”

I paused and took a deep breath, hoping to gain a measure of control over my rampant emotions. “However, when I lost everything, there was no one there for me. That miracle you talked about? I saw it today in the eyes of your friends. They really care. They have your back.” Jessie reached over to wipe a tear that was running to my chin. “I feel like I was living in a paper doll world where nothing was real. There was no love in anything I said or did,” I said, sighing in guilt. “When I lost everything in New York, the light went out in my soul, and I found I had no love to turn to. Do you understand?” I asked, not really wanting a response. I stared off into space, realizing how shallow of a person I had become.

“I, uh, uh,” Jessie stuttered and placed his warm hand on my shoulder.

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